REALLY profound stuff

“We do not inherit the earth from our ancestors, we borrow it from our children.”
Native American proverb

“The choice we face today is not a choice between jobs or the environment. It is a choice between both or neither.”
Vermont Governor Jim Douglas, in his first Inaugural Address.

Dogs REALLY love us.
Cats love us when they year the can opener.

“Trust your feelings Luke.”
Obi-Wan

“BE the ball Danny.”
Chevy Chase’s character Ty Webb in the cinema classic…

“It’s easy to grin when your ship comes in and you’ve got the stock market beat. But the man worthwhile is the man who can smile when his shorts are too tight in the seat.”
Ted Knight’s character

“Conscience is the inner voice that warns us somebody may be looking.”
H. L. Mencken

Don’t touch the hair.
Ever.

As the (second) lobster scene in “Annie Hall” demonstrates, you can’t re-enact spontaneity.

The slower you walk in the direction of a ringing phone, the less-stressful your day will be.
Your webmaster learned this while managing a big newsroom in Washington…WHILE I was a long-distance landlord.

One day, I came home and found 4 messages on my answering machine, in the following order, all from the same person:

1. Calm: “Hi, it’s Jennifer, your tenant on Waterman Street. Please call me when you get a chance?” Beep.

2. Harried-sounding: “It’s Jennifer again. PLEASE call me…as soon as you can???” Beep.

3. Sounding utterly frantic: “It’s Jennifer. I need to talk with you RIGHT AWAY. It’s REAL important!!!” Beep.

4. Calm: “Never mind. We fixed it.”

Of my wireless phone’s several dozen features, my favorite is still the Off switch.
God gave us voicemail for a reason.

“If we weren’t all crazy, we would go insane”

The two happiest days of your life are the day you buy your boat and the day you sell your boat.
Boat ownership is a non-stop series of inconveniences, unexpected expenses, unforeseen turns-in-the-weather, and other calamities…all punctuated by brief moments of happiness.

When you pop the laundry and shut off the engine and hear only the wind and those cool creaking sounds the rigging makes, it’s almost worth it.

Dance with the girls who’ll dance.
Don’t with those who won’t.
This isn’t just about dancing, or girls.

“Fox News” is an oxymoron.
And it’s brilliant marketing.

Fox News architect Roger Ailes, crafty longtime Republican strategist, realized that news had become a commodity, like bottled water. Many days, it seems like there are more news channels than news stories.

So Ailes created a channel that flavors the news. You don’t just get Aquafina. What you get is lik e Aquafina Splash, news “with a splash of flavor.”

A number of independent content analyses demonstrate that Fox News is The Republican News Channel. Ironically, slanting the news this way is precisely what Republican Vice President Spiro Agnew complained about when he criticized the media.

By pronouncing itself “FAIR AND BALANCED,” Fox News can do-the-opposite, and give like-minded viewers comfort that what they’re watching is an objective presentation.

Preaching-to-the-choir doesn’t get much more artful than telling viewers-who-have-already-decided that “WE REPORT, YOU DECIDE.”

“Every day’s a holiday. Every meal’s a banquet.”
Or as Carly Simon sang…

“These are The Good Old Days.”

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